Labels

I used to be worried that not knowing myself would hinder my abilities to raise a decent child.

I shouldn’t use the past tense there — I still AM worried… just not as much as I used to be.

I was raised with a very definitive set of beliefs (both religious and political), and it has only been four years since those beliefs crumbled to the ground. I love that I’m now thinking for myself and taking steps to center in on my own personal beliefs, but it’s hard sometimes. It gets so confusing, and it makes me miss the days when all I had to know for sure was that Jesus loved me and I was going to heaven.

So, here I am, sitting around trying to put labels on myself so that I have some direction as to how my daughter will be raised. Labels don’t mean too much (just look at the huge variety of people you can find under the label of “Christian”), and I definitely don’t fit any particular label 100%. But IF I want to throw some labels around to help understand myself a little better…

Anna will be raised under a mother who could potentially be labeled as

• Feminist
• Libertarian
• Unitarian Universalist (with a love of Buddhist ideas)
• Bi-curious

Who would like to teach her that

• It’s perfectly OK to have sex before marriage
• Homosexuality is not wrong
• No political or religious beliefs are ultimately True
• It’s important to respect everyone’s individual beliefs
• She is free to believe whatever she wants, regardless of her parents’ beliefs

I’m still afraid that being so open like this — so unlike my upbringing — will be extremely confusing for her. But even if she’s raised under a very particular set of beliefs, she still runs the risk of having that all go to the wayside at some point later in life (like what has happened to me).

This has got to be the worst part about being a parent: knowing that there’s no way for your children to avoid being in similar circumstances to your own.

All labels aside, I just need to suck it up and give this whole parenting thing my best try.